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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Partial Remission? I'll take it!

So today was the day. The day I simultaneously dreaded with all my might and wanted with all my heart. The day I would find out if the new drug Adcetris (SGN-35's official FDA name) was working in my body. Well it's working!!! Thank goodness!!! I had my scan yesterday and I manged to work myself into a frenzy because I was so worried about what the scan would reveal. Up until the moment I was on the PET scan machine, I prayed and prayed and then prayed some more. I tried to picture my doctor telling me the cancer was gone and giving him a hi-five! But then the dark thoughts would invade my brain and I would imagine my doctor tell me that the cancer was worse. So, as you can tell, I was all up in my head, thinking crazy thoughts!

When I got back to my office after my scan I emailed the two nurses that I work with and begged them to tell me something...anything...about my scan! I was scheduled to return to the doctor's office today to find out the results, but I felt like I was having a panic attack from the anxiety, so I needed to know something asap. I've been through so much--so many scans and so many disappointments--that it was hard for me to focus on being positive. Thankfully, one of the nurses called me back and told me that my scan was "much better"! I let out a sigh of relief, because those were the words I needed to hear.

And I'm so happy that I spoke to my nurse yesterday because today when Ross and I went to the doctor's office, it was packed! So we had to wait 2 1/2 hours before we saw my doctor. I think I would have passed out from stress/paranoia/anexiety if I had no idea what my results were. Once we saw my doctor, he said that my scan looked really good. Some lymph nodes had even returned to normal! He said I was in "robust partial remission". Now no one has ever, ever, ever used the word "remission" in reference to my PET scan reports. And it was amazing to hear. He wants to do 4 more cycles of Adcetris and than another scan to see if (fingers crossed) I will be in complete remission. After that, we will have to make some decisions such as continuing treatment or doing another transplant which will be the "Cure". I wish that this drug alone could be my cure, but my doctor said that it is unlikely that 1 drug alone could cure someone from cancer, you need to either use more drugs or have a transplant. That depresses me, but I can't focus on that now, just have to get to the complete remission finish line first.

So this is great news obviously...something that I wanted so bad, especially since I will be turning 29 in a few weeks and I really didn't want to celebrate another birthday with cancer. Even though some cancer cells are still there, I'm not as depressed as last year when I turned 28 and felt horrible about my situation. This is the best birthday present I could have asked for!!

9 comments:

  1. Dearest Morgan:
    Hearing results that we have been praying for over these two years! Robust Partial Remission -hearing the term "Remission" is so wonderful.
    Stay faithful as we know that God has His hands on you and Ross. Our prayers continue with thanksgiving and we believe that Complete Remission is possible.
    Love,
    Mommie

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  2. Morgan, way to go!!!! Although you don't hear from me often, you are never far from my thoughts! I think of you and the family constantly and share your burden. This is great news, and we remain constant in prayer that your recovery will continue. Remain faithful, hopeful and positive. All the best to you and Ross....Aunt Harriet

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  3. Morgan, I am Helen, Aunt Harriet's sister. I know you don't remember me but I met you years ago when you were very small and never forgot you. Since I first started reading your blogs, I have consistently kept you in my thoghts and prayers. I admire your honesty, transparency and your ability to remain positibe in spite of all that you are experiencing. I wish you and your new hubby all the best!

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  4. Happy early birthday Morgan!!!! Awesome news. Keep fighting in your fabulous fashion. Big hugs from Rita Sutton.

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  5. Blessed Morgan, my name is Wanda Hightower. I am Harriet's cousin and Jason Forte's mother. Harriet shared your ordeal with me. What wonderful news for a beautiful young lady!!!!! I want you to know that you are forever in my prayers and may God continuously bless you

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  6. Morgan -- What great news! You've been in my thoughts as your PET scan approached and it's wonderful to hear the R-word from you. Have a great birthday -- there's even more reason to celebrate this one, and know that you're in my prayers -- and I'm sure in those of many, many more folks who care about you. All the best,

    Nancy

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  7. Awesome news Morgan!! My thoughts and Prayers are always with you honey. Great development Pretty Lady!
    Blessings and more...
    Alison

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  8. Hey just came across ur blog ... My advice if I may coming from a relapsed ex remission now back in partial remission Acute Lymphoblastic leukaemia(S.A spelling :p) patient take it one step at a time, each small victory counts and they build up! Use the positive energy from ur remission(yes call it that, not partial, just plain old remission!) and help it propel u onto ur final goal of a cure... sure its a long road , trust me i Know first hand , but if u can win the battle in your mind ur already 90% there:D And always remember, only through true adversity shall we see our greatest strength.
    Much love
    Santhan

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  9. Diet also is of great help. I have exclusively used a quasi vegetarian, ketogenic raw food diet to put my cervical tumour in remission. It is low in a carbs, in animal proteins, in cooked food and in calories. I basically eat almonds, walnuts, hazelnuts, green leaves, low carb vegetables, extra virgine olive oil, raw butter, and small amounts of chicken liver, fish and raw goat cheese. The theory behind this is that insulin fuels cancer growth (Thomas Seyfried, Eugene Fines) and lack of pancreatic enzymes (used by the body to digest proteins and to kill cancer cells) allows the cancerous cells to proliferate (Nicholas Gonzales, John Beard).
    The alternative to this diet would be water fasting.
    Rita

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