So today was the day. The day I simultaneously dreaded with all my might and wanted with all my heart. The day I would find out if the new drug Adcetris (SGN-35's official FDA name) was working in my body. Well it's working!!! Thank goodness!!! I had my scan yesterday and I manged to work myself into a frenzy because I was so worried about what the scan would reveal. Up until the moment I was on the PET scan machine, I prayed and prayed and then prayed some more. I tried to picture my doctor telling me the cancer was gone and giving him a hi-five! But then the dark thoughts would invade my brain and I would imagine my doctor tell me that the cancer was worse. So, as you can tell, I was all up in my head, thinking crazy thoughts!
When I got back to my office after my scan I emailed the two nurses that I work with and begged them to tell me something...anything...about my scan! I was scheduled to return to the doctor's office today to find out the results, but I felt like I was having a panic attack from the anxiety, so I needed to know something asap. I've been through so much--so many scans and so many disappointments--that it was hard for me to focus on being positive. Thankfully, one of the nurses called me back and told me that my scan was "much better"! I let out a sigh of relief, because those were the words I needed to hear.
And I'm so happy that I spoke to my nurse yesterday because today when Ross and I went to the doctor's office, it was packed! So we had to wait 2 1/2 hours before we saw my doctor. I think I would have passed out from stress/paranoia/anexiety if I had no idea what my results were. Once we saw my doctor, he said that my scan looked really good. Some lymph nodes had even returned to normal! He said I was in "robust partial remission". Now no one has ever, ever, ever used the word "remission" in reference to my PET scan reports. And it was amazing to hear. He wants to do 4 more cycles of Adcetris and than another scan to see if (fingers crossed) I will be in complete remission. After that, we will have to make some decisions such as continuing treatment or doing another transplant which will be the "Cure". I wish that this drug alone could be my cure, but my doctor said that it is unlikely that 1 drug alone could cure someone from cancer, you need to either use more drugs or have a transplant. That depresses me, but I can't focus on that now, just have to get to the complete remission finish line first.
So this is great news obviously...something that I wanted so bad, especially since I will be turning 29 in a few weeks and I really didn't want to celebrate another birthday with cancer. Even though some cancer cells are still there, I'm not as depressed as last year when I turned 28 and felt horrible about my situation. This is the best birthday present I could have asked for!!