So my plan has taken a turn. After gradually trying to make myself accept the transplant, the hospital stay and all that it entails, I decided to get a 2nd opinion just for kicks. A friend recommended her doctor and then another friend I met on Facebook recommended him as well, so I figured it couldn't hurt to see what this doctor had to say. I will say that I was a little nervous because I had another 2nd opinion last year and all it did was confuse me, so I didn't want to be put in that position again. However, I heard great things about this doctor, so I forged ahead.
I had to wait like 3 hrs to see him, but as soon as he walked in the door I liked him. He told me that he doesn't usually like to do another transplant within a year of the first transplant because they're so toxic. Instead he recommended a combo of 3 different therapies, one being radiation, which I have never had. He seemed confident that this could be the key to beating my stubborn, resistant disease. I had heard that he thinks outside the box and looks for new ways to beat the disease. I didn't even know what to do as I listened to him. I felt so overwhelmed, so in disbelieve that there could be another option, that I started to cry. He hugged my shoulder and said it would be ok, and you know what? I believed him. The fact is, no one has a crystal ball, no one knows how this treatment will really work, but I felt something in my gut that said I had to try.
The next day I went back to my other doctor and explained to him this new treatment, he said it could work and shrink the disease but it could not, but at the end of the day the decision was up to me, whether to go forward with the transplant or try this new treatment. The final straw was when my current doctor said that I did have more disease than he would like me to have going into a transplant and it made it feel like I needed to try something else to kill this thing. Even though I hardly feel qualified to make this life altering decision, it was all on me. So I decided to go with the new doctor. First up, I have to have another biopsy to determine if my disease is CD20 positive, this is a type of protein that is present in some lymphomas and make it more resistant to standard chemo. Then my mom is coming to town and we'll meet with my new doctor again to discuss the treatment. It's scary but exciting to be on this new path. I really believe this could be a turning point for me.
This weekend I'm going home to have my bridal shower, finally a ray of sunshine in this storm I've been in. I stopped getting excited about it after everything went down with the bad pet scan, but I decided to get happy about it again. I think it's time to have a little fun.