Sunday, February 27, 2011
Fighting for a cure
Well this isn't the post I had planned on posting, I had actually written another post prior to hearing the results of my scan that celebrating being cancer free. I was trying to "speak" my healing into existence in the hopes that I could post it afterwards. But alas, that's not the case. My Feb 24th scan was "better" than my previous scan, but I am still not yet in remission. I feel like a broken record by continuing to write these sad postings, but that is my situation. The silver lining is that my doctors have found a donor for me, but the negative part (at least in my mind) is that I have to have another stem cell transplant, this time with the donor's cells instead of my own cells. This means another stay in the hospital and last time was so traumatic for me so mentally I am scared. I don't want to be scared because I don't have a choice, but that place really brings me down. However, I know that I am lucky and blessed to have a donor who is a near perfect match (the only way he/she could be more perfect is if they were a sibling or a twin). And it's happening quickly, sometime in early March, so I am preparing myself for it.
So last night Ross and I attended the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's annual black tie/casino night gala (see pics above). I bought the tickets in January, of course hoping by the time I attended I would be cancer-free. But I knew we would still go no matter what my results were because I wanted to be involved. It was a sold-out event with over 600 people and it was great to see how much money was raised towards research for people with blood cancers. I wore a dress I borrowed from my coworker Lisa (thanks Lisa!) and got tons of complements, so that of course made my night. Ross and I weren't able to dance too much (I kind of swayed side to side) because I do get tired easily and need to sit down, but we did gamble a little bit so that was fun. The only thing I wish they had were speeches from cancer survivors because selfishly I've always envisioned myself at this event speaking about my victory over cancer! So maybe I will make that suggestion. It was a great event and I'm so happy that we were able to get dressed up, go out and have fun.
The sermon during church today was very poignant for me, it was about the fact that your current situation is NOT your final destination. It is NOT the end. And that was what I needed to hear, I'll keep in fighting, keep on pushing through. And I will have my victory.