Apparently it's all around me! There is something special about realizing how much you are loved and cared for. Pre-cancer I always cherished my family and friends, but it was more of that unspoken love....like, "you know how I feel about you, no reason to say it." I was never a really mushy, lovey-dovey sort of person. But once I was diagnosed, there is nothing that has touched my heart more than receiving love and support from everyone around me...from close friends to coworkers to friends of friends to members of my parents' church to Ross's family and friends to people I've never even met...it's been incredible to be so loved.
I must admit fighting cancer can be a lonely process, at times you feel like no one understands how it feels, the pain you feel physically and emotionally, the scary thoughts that run through your head at the most inopportune moments, the times when you just want to be anyone other then yourself. It can be extremely overwhelming. And when it happened for the 2nd time, it was extremely heartbreaking. So just to know that people are out there thinking about me, caring for me and praying for me, is very comforting for me and my parents. I know this process has been hard for my parents and I hate seeing them have to go through this as much as I hate that I have to go through it. They can't make my cancer go away and fix it like they want to, yet they've done everything possible to be here for me and help me get through it. And I'm so grateful to their close friends who have supported them as they have been strong for me. I know that for my parents and Ross, it's hard to be in the "caretaker" role, so they need support just as much as I do.
The texts, emails, voice mails, cards, flowers, hugs, smiles...I can never get enough and it really does help my spirit. I have to stay positive and there's nothing more positive than love!