"Let me hurry up and take your blood pressure so I can get to Morgan next, because if I don't, she's gonna kill me." My nurse said this to another patient yesterday as I was waiting to get my blood drawn. Oops! I didn't realize that she saw the irritated look on my face as I sat in the blood draw room...waiting...and...waiting for someone to draw my blood. I swear I could do it myself if they would let me, I've watched them do it enough times! I've come to realize that I don't do a very good job of hiding my frustration when things take longer than expected. I am always shocked how long it takes to get things done in a hospital and I am silently cursing people out in my head whenever I feel like I've been waiting too long...and I guess it's starting to show. C'mon people! I have things to do, places to go, cancer to kill, lets get it moving!!
I'm not a very patient person in general, and I blame New York. Before moving to the big bad city, I was a nice, sweet girl :) But you move here and you adapt the "take no prisoners" attitude that my beloved city is known for. I have no patience for tourists who stand in the middle of the sidewalks, people who take too long to make their order at Starbucks and anyone who gets in my way as I run to get on the subway. Get Out Of My Way! Hurry Up! Move! This are the thoughts running through my head on a daily basis as I live, work and play in NYC. I don't know what's happened to me! Yet, the hospital is no different. I get my blood drawn on Thursdays before my chemo appts and I usually walk from my office to the hospital during lunch, so I always feel as though I'm in a hurry, and usually the people around me are not. Hence the looks I shoot at the nurses as I will them to call my name, take my blood and get me outta there (plus its lunchtime and I'm hungry!).
And apparently my looks haven't gotten unnoticed. The 2 main nurses in the blood draw room often kid me about how I always have to "get back to the office" (but I do! I'm a busy lady) and how I'm always running through the hospital in my heels. I try to smile and be nice but sometimes my crazy side takes over and I demand to know what's taking so long. I know its probably not the best approach and I feel bad afterwards...until it happens again that is!
The other thing that irritates me about hospitals is the administration people. I feel like a lot of the hospital assistants and secretaries hate their jobs. One of the assistants I have to deal with every time I need to schedule an appt always is complaining. Her stomach hurts, she's hungry, she left her phone at home that day. And she's complaining to me, a cancer patient! Honey, I know I look fine, but don't complain to me, I'd take a stomach ache over chemo anyday...wanna trade? Ugh. I have no time for this, just schedule my appt! I don't think I'll ever get used to coming to a hospital every other week, making appts for scans, being checked out by a doctor and getting my blood drawn. I thought it would be no biggie by now, but it still feels surreal. Like, am I really in the oncology wing? So weird.
I would love to say that I am working on my patience as I know its probably not good for my stress level, but that would be a flat out lie. Because I'm sitting in chemo now, waiting for the last drug to finish dripping and I'm already thinking about how long I've been here. Relax, release, breatheeeeeeee....