My favorite time of the year is here....the holidays! Cue the Donny Hathaway music! Thanksgiving was wonderful. Ross came to town and he and I cooked dinner for my parents and my brother in New York. And it turned out really well, if I do say so myself. Ross and I were each in charge of several dishes (Ross was in charge of the turkey and it was amazing!) and we were in the kitchen till 1am the night before Thanksgiving cooking and preparing food. The next day I was on my feet all day until we ate dinner. I can't believe my mother has been doing this every holiday for years, I was exhausted!! But everything was delicious and for some reason my father got a kick out of seeing me in the kitchen with an apron on and a spatula in my hand...hey I can cook! What's so funny about that? He was pleasantly surprised (does that mean he doubted my skills??) when he tasted my homemade red velvet cake. Sooo yummy! It was nice for all of us to spend the holiday together and the weekend served as a taste of what's to come after Ross and I get married.
Each year at Thanksgiving we usually go around the table and say what we are thankful for, and normally I say something about being thankful for my family, friends, health, job, life, etc. It's nice but as soon the words were out of my mouth, they were usually forgotten and I was on to the food consumption portion of the evening. This year was very different as Thanksgiving took on a whole new meaning and feeling for me. I'm thankful to be alive for one. I never viewed my cancer as a death sentence, but I recognize the fact that it can be deadly and I am soo thankful that I have had the opportunity to live my life as I always have with a few trips to the hospital in between. I'm thankful that although this journey has been hard and will continue to be hard, I am strong enough to handle it and it hasn't knocked me down. I'm thankful for everyone who has ever prayed for me or thought about me or sent good vibes my way. I'm so thankful for my family, my fiance, my friends and loved ones who have been there for me. And of course, as I said at the dinner table, I'm thankful for my hair :)
Tomorrow is a big day for me. It's the day I have my 2nd PET scan and it will determine if the cancer is gone. I'm so scared and I just want to know now. I want to be cancer-free soo bad, more than anything I want to shout those words out loud. I want to type those words on this blog and have them be true instead of just hoping and wishing. It's hard not to let your mind go to a dark place and think the worst, especially because I know positivity breeds good things, so I'm trying my best. But this is the day I have been looking forward to because it means everything else I've gone through was worth it. So, wish me luck!